Amidst the meteoric rise of the Tampa Bay Rays to the MLB postseason fielding the lowest salary of all 30 MLB teams, Vic Vinegar has channeled his inner Billy Beane to declare he will win next year’s World Series for any team willing to give him a chance.
A bricklayer by trade, Vinegar has mastered the art of statistical probability and modelling via his intricate knowledge of brick mathematics and labour management.
“Day after day, we lay the most bricks with the fewest labourers. If an MLB team owner wants me to apply the same logic to baseball, I will win them the World Series next year,” said Vinegar.
“I have been watching baseball my whole life and know what stats win games.”
“I’ve pulled high school dropouts onto the team and turned them into great brickies so trust me, I have an eye for undervalued potential.”
Making the MLB postseason as a wildcard following their 96-66 season, the Tampa Bay Rays have progressed to the America League Divisional Series boasting a 25-man roster salary totalling $53,310,374.
The Houston Astros, their Divisional Round opponents, in comparison have a $165 million salary on roster.